Dear society,
I don’t know when it became acceptable to make fun of how someone looks. I don’t know when we decided that a number on a scale defined the status of a human being. But somewhere, at some time or another we did. I was going to post a long rant that shamed you. A rant that would have been hurtful and mean and harsh; much like the words and images that you surround me with as a young woman. On the inside right now, I feel like cussing you out. I feel like telling you that I am not ugly. I am not defined by a number on a scale or a number printed on my jeans. My husband does find me attractive thank-you-very-much and you are just jealous. But, I felt a gentle nudge in my spirit that acting a fool was not going to change anything. It was not going to offer healing. It was not going to offer forgiveness. It was not going to make the hateful words any less hateful by “getting back” at you. Maybe it was maturity that kept me from posting my mental “I’m done with you” post or maybe it was the gentle voice of the Holy Spirit. Maybe it was both. Either way, I couldn’t bring myself to post what I initially felt when the man at the store saw me round a corner and exclaimed to his friends “She needs to eat a cheeseburger. She is too thin.” …..
Dear society,
I know many girls don’t struggle with being underweight like I do. In reality, many struggle with obesity in some form. I realize the older I get that the ads/posts/e-cards directed negatively towards underweight women or overweight women alike have the same underlying theme: they are all directed towards a woman’s body. They are all focused on how attractive a woman is by YOUR standards. And society, I have to ask you, who came up with your standards? If everyone is hurt in some way by what is shown, campaigned, said, and advertised in relation to a woman’s body, who gave you the right to set the bar for all of us? Thin, target weight, and overweight alike?
Dear society,
I know you are hurting. I know there is evil in this world that infiltrates every part of you and for some reason you like to attack women relentlessly. You know that whether we are less than 100lbs or over 500lbs, as a woman we focus on our body image and how others perceive us. Society, you have caused a major divide between women. Instead of focusing on lifting each other up and nurturing our families we are focused on looking better than the rest of the women we surround ourselves with. We are not only battling negativity from you, but we are now fighting against ourselves over trying so hard to feel worthy.
Dear society,
I know this won’t change much in the grand scheme of things. But maybe you could listen to someone who’s on the opposite side of your negative body image campaign. I don’t know who is running your show, but I have an idea who’s behind these hurtful tactics and great divide. Society, you are right. I am too thin. I weigh less than 100 lbs right now and I am working very hard to bring that number up to fit your standards. I am not unhealthy. I do not suffer with anorexia or bulimia but because of your negative body image campaign, many girls do and guess what? You don’t help them any by promoting the things that you do. I have always struggled with gaining weight, just as many women have struggled with losing weight their entire lives. And society, what you fail to realize and acknowledge is that overweight or underweight, every single woman, man, and child is made in God’s image and therefore has worth. Period.
Dear society,
I know there is no way to change you. I know that I can do nothing to reverse the damage that you have caused on every woman of my generation and those that came before us. I know that my daughter, Lord willing that I have a daughter someday, will struggle in the world you have created. But society, as a very good friend told me at a pivotal moment in my life “It stops with me”. I may not be able to change the fact that I struggle with gaining weight. I can’t change what you throw at me or how hard you try to push me back down to the negative, self-conscious pit I have been in for SO long now. But I can choose to get up every day in spite of it and be the best version of myself that I can be. My beauty and my worth does not come from spray tans, boob jobs, short dresses and muscular legs. My beauty and my worth does not come with a successful career or a perfect wedding or losing a child. My beauty and my worth is found in Christ alone.
Dear society,
Life isn’t easy. It isn’t fair. And you, you do not give breaks. I quit writing because of you. I quit singing because of you. I quit laughing because of you. I quit walking with even a shred of confidence because of you. But society, though I am tempted to shake my fist at you and tell you exactly what I think about your snide comments on my weight and every other insecurity I struggle with, you should know…..It stops with me. And right now as I sip on my Ensure, tonight as I snuggle my puppy and kiss my husband, tomorrow when I get up early and read my Bible and workout for the first time in months to try to gain a pound or two, you should know, I am not doing it for you. You may control everyone’s perception of me, but society, you no longer control me. The skinny shaming, the hateful comments, the mean remarks and stares…the negative images you blast on a daily basis.. It stops with me.
Amen!