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All of the lovely professional images featured throughout the blog are courtesy of Chesley Summar Photography unless otherwise noted.

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Important note. I'm signing off social media for a

Obsessed. Thank you @ivylordart 💙

Obsessed. Thank you @ivylordart 💙

Wild as a mink but sweet as soda pop 🍊 #banksy

Wild as a mink but sweet as soda pop 🍊 #banksy

Celebrating our Sarah girl is the MOST fun. She’

Celebrating our Sarah girl is the MOST fun. She’s truly the most iconic of us all. ✨

I don’t have any clever words for this one. Just

I don’t have any clever words for this one. Just that sometimes, we cross paths with beautiful people, inside and out, that create for us beautiful things we will always treasure.

@crowedj isn’t my OB, but she’s just so happened to have been in on every birth of mine. She’s loved me like I’m her own patient; even bestowing on me one of her “Dr. Crowe Says I’m A Badass” stickers following my surgery-my only request outside of a Dr. Pepper.

She is also an incredible artist and I asked her for a commissioned piece. She sent two. I can’t decide which one I love more, so I’ll hang them side by side. And treasure them always. What a gift (The paintings and the person).

This is a mirror selfie. I know, lame. But hear me

This is a mirror selfie. I know, lame. But hear me out-This is a reminder that you don’t “age out” of dreaming. Your “loves” in life don’t have to provide your paycheck. And you can still live life, broken up a bit.

I just left a masterclass full of *mainly* teens. We learned really incredible choreography (and ya girl is not a dancer so that was even more challenging). We worked with one of my idols-truly a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I couldn’t speak when she spoke to me-I just stared, starstruck.

And I almost didn’t do it. Because I’m too old. And my body is not what it used to be. And I’m thin. And scarred. And I’ve had three kids (🙃) and so many other things. I have so many excuses as to why I’m not “enough”. But then I got in a room full of artists that support each other for the sake of creativity. And I felt at home. Because dreaming and loving and creating isn’t limited to careers and awards. I’ll likely never win another award for a performance on stage-but I don’t need to. Also-I wore a crop top despite my scar and I’m sure it showed more than once but I didn’t mind. I showed up my whole self. And well, this is your permission slip to do the same. In whatever room you love to be in. Thanks @aooproductions for giving me an opportunity to stand under hot lights with good people and learn from the best. I’m so grateful.

Coming in a Christmas card to a mailbox near you 🎄#overposting

So thankful 💙

So if my eyebrow is any indication….this week ha

So if my eyebrow is any indication….this week has sucked.

It’s 8 pm-I’m just now starting dinner. Banks is snotty and cutting teeth. The boys have been snotty (no covid-we tested). And I have had strep, with Jon now not feeling great. My parents are in quarantine and my in laws (thank Jesus) have the twins for the night. But banks? He’s screamed all 👏🏻 day 👏🏻 long👏🏻.

I aggressively turned to Jon tonight in the middle of the screaming and my failed after failed attempt to soothe and barked “WHERE IS THE FREAKING VILLAGE? WHAT HAPPENED TO IT TAKES A VILLAGE? THEY NEVER SHOW UP”.

And Jon said-calmly and rationally, per usual-“Well, have you asked anyone to?”

No. I haven’t. And I never have. And honestly? I won’t.

This is not a personal plea for help. It’s more of a collective “make-you-aware” post. Likely, there is a mama you know that you think is the luckiest woman ever. She’s got a house full of babies and is in “the best years of her life” as you sit with an empty nest. You envy her a little and politely offer help. But you should know, if she’s anything like me, in fear of putting you out and with overwhelming mom guilt, she’ll never ask for it. She’ll wear herself out to the point she’s physically sick. She’ll cry in the shower over snapping and yelling at her babies. She’ll beg God for something to get a little easier, knowing these are precious days and she’s hanging on tight in the madness and the mess. She really wants a day to herself. A night out with her husband. Just some quiet. But that never seems to happen. So she just keeps going. And you never see it.

It’s easy to say “the days are long but the years are short”-she knows that already. And she suffers extreme guilt not treasuring every moment when life gets messy.

It’s easy to say “the dishes can wait”. But someone has to eventually do them, because everyone has to eat. And likely, she’s already up until midnight anyway wiping noses and re-tucking in, and folding laundry. And she’s really, really tired.

(Cont. in comments)..

This is the door to my counselor’s office. I mee

This is the door to my counselor’s office. I meet her here once a week, every week. I have since October. The only time we took a brief intermission in meeting in person was during my hospital stay, and at that point we met via phone calls and zoom. We talked the day I went into labor. We talked the day I got home.

I know it’s not a “pretty” photo. I know the topic of counseling is still taboo. Or in some cases “trendy” but not actually practiced just talked about a little more openly because of the whole self care movement. But it’s a practice I hold dearly.

Some days I hurry to make my appointment. Other days I kill time, grab a drink at Sonic and stroll in a little early to sit and wait and inhale the scent of the essential oils that fill the hall. We do a lot of good, fun work. But we do a whole lot of hard, holy work.

Together, we face a lot of things I would rather not. Things that are ugly about myself or my life or just stressful. Things unworthy of an Instagram post. Stupid things I make up in my head. Fears I have that will likely never come true. Or sometimes just the frustrations and disappointments that come with day to day life.

Banks comes with me a lot. He sits in his carrier or my counselor rocks him. Giving my arms and mind a break from mothering while I focus on the weight of it all. It’s a holy time. A precious time. And a time I will always make time for.

The world is heavy right now. It’s chaotic and catastrophic. Terror and disease and failures and faults swirl around us while storms swirl within us and if we aren’t careful, we’ll drown in the sorrow of it all.

Don’t forget you’re human. You’re not Jesus. And sometimes you need a little help staying afloat. Counseling is a great, sturdy, steady life raft. And though it doesn’t pull you out of the storm, it keeps your head above the waves while you endure it.

Counseling isn’t for the crazy. It’s for the ones that care enough to change. For good. ✨

Important note. I'm signing off social media for a

Obsessed. Thank you @ivylordart 💙

Obsessed. Thank you @ivylordart 💙

Wild as a mink but sweet as soda pop 🍊 #banksy

Wild as a mink but sweet as soda pop 🍊 #banksy

Celebrating our Sarah girl is the MOST fun. She’

Celebrating our Sarah girl is the MOST fun. She’s truly the most iconic of us all. ✨

I don’t have any clever words for this one. Just

I don’t have any clever words for this one. Just that sometimes, we cross paths with beautiful people, inside and out, that create for us beautiful things we will always treasure.

@crowedj isn’t my OB, but she’s just so happened to have been in on every birth of mine. She’s loved me like I’m her own patient; even bestowing on me one of her “Dr. Crowe Says I’m A Badass” stickers following my surgery-my only request outside of a Dr. Pepper.

She is also an incredible artist and I asked her for a commissioned piece. She sent two. I can’t decide which one I love more, so I’ll hang them side by side. And treasure them always. What a gift (The paintings and the person).

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